My life choices, experiences, and behaviors didn’t look like someone who was afraid to be seen.
As a teenager and young adult, I performed in theatre, often in lead roles, and studied theatre at two different colleges.
I was accustomed to performing for small, medium, and large audiences.
When I started my business, I was excited to create content, a podcast, webinars, and do live coaching in my group programs.
I was posting daily on IG / FB – lives, posts, and reels.
I was emailing my community – although the consistency wavered (more on consistency in a future post as I have much to say about that as an HSP).
When I was struggling in my business, I joined a lot of online programs to help solve it.
But when I saw programs about visibility I thought, “that’s not my problem.”
I knew how to push through and force myself to show up and do the thing.
Even when I didn’t know my niche, I showed up and shared my own journey.
Posts on the subconscious.
Supplements.
Nervous System.
Parenting.
My spiritual journey.
Kind of whatever I was moving through.
But as I deepened my healing and my entrepreneurial journey, I discovered the layers and the levels of visibility.
I noticed my patterns.
~Performing.
~Overworking.
~Controlling.
~People pleasing.
These weren’t new.
They were lifelong patterns that showed up in more places than just work.
As a Scorpio, I’m endlessly fascinated by what’s happening beneath the surface, the deeper waters, the subconscious.
I literally cannot help myself.
It’s what people love and hate about me (I assume).
That depth led me to RTT hypnosis, where so much of my healing happened, I invested in becoming certified.
So, I know behaviors are never just about the behaviors.
Emotional eating is not just about food.
Being late is not just about timing.
Procrastination is not just about disorganization.
And…
Visibility is not just about showing up.
It’s about being willing to be truly seen.
Not without boundaries.
But without hiding behind performance.
I had been partly right: I didn’t 100% have a visibility problem ….
Buuuuttttt… I was holding a deep fear of being seen, rejected, and/or misunderstood.
Being visible like that didn’t feel safe.
I faked visibility so well, I’d even fooled myself.
Let me back up a moment…
It took me many business pivots to understand my niche, positioning, and what I was doing (and I’m still learning).
Positive psychology coaching, emotional eating coaching, RTT hypnosis, supplements, Reiki, Oracle card readings….I shifted a lot.
Nothing felt right.
But you know what?
Knowing what I know now, I DID know what I was meant to be doing.
But confusion felt safer.
Pivoting felt safer than choosing (and potentially failing).
Being palatable felt safer than taking a stand (and potentially being misunderstood).
Performing felt safer than being known (at least I was doing something – even if I couldn’t be something).
And overworking had always felt safer.
It helped me survive so many seasons of my life.
But there are downsides to performative visibility.
To playing it safe.
It burned me out.
I had to do so much more because I was trying to cover all my bases.
That – and – when the business wasn’t working, I had no idea why.
What I was slowly uncovering was the layers of visibility.
How one problem could actually involve many different things.
Was I missing a business skill?
Did my offer, positioning or messaging need work?
Did I have enough business data?
Had I tested the idea long enough to know what was—and wasn’t—working?
Was my high sensitivity shaping the experience?
Was I overthinking, reading into everything, or becoming overstimulated?
Or did I need more emotional capacity for being seen?
Did I know what to do but struggle to tolerate the possibility of rejection, failure or misunderstanding?
I realized these were the levers I needed to separate.
My actual problem was that I couldn’t tell which was which.
When they all jumbled together, I became overwhelmed and froze.
Sometimes for days.
Sometimes for weeks.
Sometimes months.
The deeper I went, the more self-aware I became, the less I allowed myself to perform.
It was costing me too much.
I stopped calling it “self-sabotage.”
I stopped oversimplifying it as “protection.”
I started to pull it apart and name each one as it was.
With awareness comes choice.
With choice comes change.
This is why I created Safe to Be Seen.
I spent years being visibly active without allowing myself or my work to be fully seen.
It was hard work and it got mediocre results.
I needed a more focused, authentic, and sustainable way to be visible – one that included my high sensitivity.
So I started pulling the experience apart.
Maybe you recognize yourself in some of this:
You’re a highly sensitive entrepreneur and this isn’t your first year in business.
You know how to show up, but you’re not getting the traction you want.
You pivot quickly when something doesn’t work.
You soften your message because being misunderstood feels unbearable.
Or you can be highly visible for a time, but need days, weeks, or even months to recover from it.
Safe to Be Seen is for highly sensitive entrepreneurs who know what to do – but are struggling with the emotional experience of:
Being seen failing.
Being seen trying.
Being seen changing their minds.
Being seen being a little cringe at times.
Over one week and three live calls, we’ll separate what’s happening in one current visibility struggle:
Is it a business skill problem?
A lack of useful business data?
High sensitivity?
Or an emotional-capacity challenge?
Because when you know what is actually happening, you can make a clearer choice about what needs to change.
We’re talking emotional strategy – not more visibility tactics.
We gather in October.
The first live round will be free ~ Save your seat.
I resemble these remarks! 😛