"It felt like murky, thick green liquid in my belly, moving up and down."
Ugh. This is *exactly* how my grief has been feeling, too. All this "stuff" just coalescing around my abdominal area, most notably the solar plexus.
I've started taking steps to help release it, and of course, I've been discovering that it's not just about grieving my father's death: it's also about all the other types of losses I've experienced, over the past decade or so, that I haven't felt I was "allowed" to honour.
Thank you for sharing your experience too - it helps me feel less alone in it!
There's so much more to say about the other types of losses - I didn't even get into relationships - past friends, colleagues, partners, even old jobs.
That saying of "friend for a season, a reason, or a lifetime" is a tidy way of saying not everyone is meant for your whole life journey, but doesn't make it any easier to accept.
So good to hear you are giving yourself permission now - even when it looks a lot like sitting with murky solar plexus colours.
"It felt like murky, thick green liquid in my belly, moving up and down."
Ugh. This is *exactly* how my grief has been feeling, too. All this "stuff" just coalescing around my abdominal area, most notably the solar plexus.
I've started taking steps to help release it, and of course, I've been discovering that it's not just about grieving my father's death: it's also about all the other types of losses I've experienced, over the past decade or so, that I haven't felt I was "allowed" to honour.
Thank you for sharing your experience too - it helps me feel less alone in it!
There's so much more to say about the other types of losses - I didn't even get into relationships - past friends, colleagues, partners, even old jobs.
That saying of "friend for a season, a reason, or a lifetime" is a tidy way of saying not everyone is meant for your whole life journey, but doesn't make it any easier to accept.
So good to hear you are giving yourself permission now - even when it looks a lot like sitting with murky solar plexus colours.
“Murky solar plexus colours.” Heh. What a great way to describe it!
Anyway, I saw that you’ve subscribed to my publication (thanks, btw!), and I thought you might be interested in my own post about grief: https://fictivekin.substack.com/p/vol-1-issue-24-i-look-really-good
I hope it helps, even just a little bit.
Ah, thank you! I will check it out.