Versions of the Truth
and the lies we subconsciously tell ourselves...
When I trained in hypnotherapy I learned about how the subconscious mind is highly suggestible, and not discerning, or judgemental. In the subconscious everything is either black or white. It accepts words as truth, if that’s what you tell it.
You know how kids are so spongey, they believe what you tell them? How they think in black and white? They’re fully in their subconscious mind 24/7 until about 12-ish.
We have a 7-year-old and I see this in action all the time. He asks questions looking for absolute answers and doesn’t / can’t yet understand nuance or grey or “it depends.”
For example, he wants to know, “how much does a car cost?” Well, it depends. He doesn’t like the “it depends” because he can’t instantly categorize it.
Once I put a number in my phone with the wrong name. When the number called, and it wasn’t the name of the person I programmed, I got so confused! My mind only trusted what it could see, and the name on my screen didn’t match the voice. It was bad programming, but my mind struggled to accept it.
It’s useful to remind our adult brains the truth can change.
Just like my phone is only as good as the information I program in, my actions are only as good as the information I program in my mind.
The idea that truths can change is a learned adult experience that didn’t make sense as a child. As a kid, we’re forming our beliefs about the world, how it works, and we learned to categorize things in black and white. It’s true or false.
But our minds are only as good as what we program them with.
Just like our phones need updating, we need to update our adult brains from thinking all-or-nothing, black-or-white, true or false beliefs we created as kids.
Sometimes something that was true is now false, and vice versa. Ever fallen out of love with someone? Or, hated a job you once loved? Remember believing in Santa? Have a different memory than a sibling about the same event?
Believing in only true or false is not supportive for our growth because it doesn’t allow for discernment, nuance, or the gray area needed to update old beliefs. Sometimes a car costs $1M, sometimes $500. Some days we love our job. Some days we hate it. It’s all true.
The truth is slippery.
I’ve noticed something with clients about “truths” when we do memory regression. They’re stuck on one truth about a past event. They formed a belief about that circumstance in that moment, and that belief got ingrained. The brain decided it was true and is operating from that truth.
Through confirmation bias, the world reflects back all the evidence of this truth, while filtering out anything that doesn’t support it.
I never noticed pregnant women before I got pregnant; suddenly, they were everywhere. I never noticed playgrounds before having a baby; suddenly, they were everywhere. My beliefs shifted and opened new, relevant possibilities to match my new perspective.
We need to be proactive with updating our programming because what was once adaptive can become maladaptive. The belief that saved you then, can keep you from what you want now.
Feeling unaccepted and adopting people pleasing tendencies may have allowed you to fit in then; but it won’t allow you to shine in an authentic business now. Sometimes those old beliefs sabotage our current goals.
With hypnotherapy as a tool, we can review beliefs created from events with the gift of experience; we can zoom out and play with other possible truths. We can look at the whole forest, not just one tree.
We can make new suggestions to the subconscious that incorporate truths you couldn’t see before.
One client, years ago, told me of a memory from childhood that contributed to her feelings of abandonment: her mother left her in the car alone at the grocery store. When we zoomed out and looked at the whole forest, she realized her mother was just returning the grocery cart. She came back.
Through misunderstandings we can create wounds and triggers. They may be part of our lessons, but we can remember we have a voice and a choice. We’re not locked into one reaction, belief, or truth.
It’s useful to remind our adult brains the truth can change.
Because then, we can change.
With awareness, comes choice.
With choice, comes change.